Good morning! What powerful words. But it is a great morning! Praise God.
I have so much to tell you…God and Noah have been so incredibly busy! I had to take a little summer break because July and August have been the worst months of my life. Crazy right? Wouldn’t you think maybe … humm… May or any other month in the past 3 years? Nope. These past two months have been unbelievable and it was nothing that I could have prepared for, because believe me, I tried. We have all experienced loss in our lives… a Grandparent, a Parent, a pet, a friend… and we know how ridiculously painful it is, even if we know that our loved one is enjoying all the glories of our Lord in Heaven and that we will be together forever in eternal life. Especially in our case! Noah is changing the face of cancer research (I promise to write about it soon) and his purpose is so much bigger than any of us could have understood at the time. (Once again… God’s plan not ours.)
BUT, and here’s the big but. We are human…. DRATS!!!! Dennis and I were having the same panic attacks and didn’t even know it. Ones that you would never expect.
Here’s one example… unfortunately, one of many.
Remember when you were a new parent and you had the nightmare of leaving your child somewhere? We will be in the car and spontaneously start sweating and shaking with flashes that we have forgotten him or left him somewhere. We leave Publix and think he has been taken…or we were on a plane to Birmingham and can’t find him. Many, many things like that. Things that you would not expect on top of all the “normal” missing him…his voice, his brilliance, his “I love you”, his touch, his smile, Star Wars, Clone Wars, Legos… more than anyone can imagine.
BUT, another big but! It’s changing. Everyday. By and through the Grace of God, we are still being lead and Noah’s helping.
I hadn’t dreamed about him (even though I really wanted to) until two weeks ago. He was sitting in a huge chair with 3 other children… all getting infusions. A doctor was standing in front of them…being silly, trying to make the best of what was happening to them (God bless them, doctor included) and I said to Noah “Do you believe this Noah?” Watching the doctor and shaking his head, he said…”I know Mom…I know..” Then he turned and stared at me and said “But Mom, there is no reason to give up hope.” I suddenly woke up. I was so real and it was so great to hear his voice.
Everyday, when I tell Noah’s story and tell what’s happening now with Noah’s Light, I’m shocked! (In a great way!) Everyday, God centers me and gives me the breath to continue what I’m supposed to continue. There is no reason to give up hope… changes are being made. Noah has accomplished so much! Thank you my baby… thank you! The world thanks you… well, they will soon. (I promise, I will share what’s been happening… I just needed to absorb it first!) I will also be asking for help.
God bless you all! We are so blessed and it’s a really good morning!
p.s. Yes, the cardinal is still here… day 84. He wakes us up every morning; this is Lu’s window – (Wow are my windows dirty!)
and doesn’t this look like a boy, with his 2 hands up at the base of this rainbow? (Maybe it’s just me… on my way home from work.) Thanks for the painting Nono – I love you!