Noah…may the force be with you!

The doctors called and the MRI shows no change. No growth, no less. We are thankful and we are so blessed!!! Thank you Dear Heavenly Father.

Honestly, I don’t want one of those “fake, hey – the scan is clean…we don’t know why…so let’s scan in 3 months and see if it stays that way.” Chemo is tricky. I believe that we could “force” a clean scan. If you pump enough crap (pardon) Chemo into your body, you can kill anything, but what we have seen is that it is temporary and we have seen what it does to the rest of your insides. We have seen so many families go through this and then it’s back with a vengeance. The cancer wants to come back.

Knowing this, I find it completely crazy to think that it would every really be gone and I would never be so irresponsible to tell Noah that he was free of the bad cells from a “chemo scan.” Chemo wears these kids out and I won’t even go into the long term side effects if they survive. Ridiculously archaic!!!!

Here’s what I pray for – I want the clean scan when we do something different to destroys the cells. Something that happens “naturally-ish” in the body. Right now, I want us to remain “stable” (or better), have these NK cells go in, do their job and remove every last cancer cell FOREVER! Even if we had to go back for “maintenance,” that would be ok.

Recently, an article was published in The New York Times about a patient using mutating T-cells to kill leukemia – another first and in the family of what we are doing in Houston. A little scary read, but a good outcome so far and it’s been over a year.

Let me quote -

“A few weeks later, the fevers were gone. And so was the leukemia.
There was no trace of it anywhere — no leukemic cells in his blood or bone marrow, no more bulging lymph nodes on his CT scan. His doctors calculated that the treatment had killed off two pounds of cancer cells.”

That is what I am talkin’ about!!!

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/09/13/health/13gene.html?pagewanted=all

Of course, I instantly emailed all of the doctors in Houston. “Do we know about this?” They replied “Indeed. We helped with this.”

Onward and upward!!!!!

Dear Lord, Thank You for having such strong arms to hold us. Thank you for our continued blessings and guidance. :-)

Thank you for all of your love, support and prayers! As soon as we know the results, I will post. The doctors did not call tonight. Back to waiting, but today…oddly enough, we are peaceful. Thank you Lord and I thank all of you.
Good night.

Wow we made it another year! My baby is 8 years old!!!

As many of you remember, right before last birthday we got some very bad news. So, we made “Lemonade.”

We threw a 250 friends and family, 50 501st Star Wars Character super fun, the real landspeeder and R2-D2 from the Star Wars Sagas, giant birthday party. This year, Mom thought we would be in Houston. (Once again, silly me …”planning.”) Well, we went super old school. Just the four of us and Disney  - that’s it. Dad planned the weekend – Mickey’s “Not So Scary” Halloween; Staying on property; taking the bus and the monorail (which they LOVE!!!!!!) And as hard as she tried…Drizella tried to make wedding plans, but he told her “I have a wife…her name is Dylan!!!” Dylan, you have nothing to fear!!!

Oh, don’t get me wrong…baby boy is still waiting for Mom’s surprise…”Mom, I want you to REALLY surprise me this year!!!” Ok, …SURPRISE!!!! I’m having your birthday party in October sometime!

Another birthday! What a blessing!!! My Angel! Thank you Lord!!!! I love you my babies!

ps. “No-na” is what he used to call himself as a baby

Ok… I’ll admit it… after my camera was stolen… I broke. It was the proverbial “straw” and I was the camel. Cancer was taking my son, my life …and then a thief takes my precious memories and by that…Noah too…erasing so much. Whew. It’s crazy…the “things” that make you break. Everything came to a head…and then collapsed.

I felt so guilty…with so many people praying for us and I couldn’t breathe, much less type.

But…and it’s a BIGGG BUTTT… I am now really better.

Guess what? Time has passed, I’m not in the corner on the floor anymore and….I got a new camera . Standing in Best Buy, crying my eyes out …for almost 2 hours…”Is this one good in low light? Boooo hoooo boooooooooo, AHHHHHHHHHH———— Screammiiiiiinnnnnggggggg……..SOBBING!!!!!” Sitting on the floor. They had to think I was crazy and, of course, it had nothing to do with the camera! (Hey, I gave them something to talk about.)

I’m just not good at “Peace.” God gives me a summer…to play, to travel, to work, a new baby cousin, plan for “Houston” — “Be still, and know that I am God” (Psalm 46:10) Wait…Be Still… Oh those words. Anyone who knows me knows that those words are not in my vocabulary. Oh, how I wish I wasn’t human. I wish I could always focus on the real things that matter. These were my thoughts all summer. (I take such solace in the Psalms…and in my heart I know Him and that He loves us.)

Then…finally…Summer is OVER – the “Plan” begins!!! School! Houston! Moving forward!!!! Breathing again!!!

Nope.

Nothing. Waiting. Still waiting. Living everyday one minute at a time. (Which is torture.)

I don’t respond to birthday invites, because I don’t know if we can. I don’t make plans, because we can’t think past today. Chemo. Too many to count “eating fights.” Chemo. The children bonding all summer. Swimming, sleepovers, tons of projects and creating “Noah Journals.” Chemo. The throwing up started again. Is the tumor growing out of control and we will see it 2 days after his birthday? (Next MRI is tomorrow morning.) Chemo. Oh, it’s his birthday…is this his last? What will I plan? How do you plan that? Chemo. He just lost his first tooth!!!! He wrote a note to the tooth fairy “begging her to give it to his Mom because Mom’s should have the first one!” … Mom thinks …”and all the rest…..I want them all!!!!!” (I want your Grandchildren’s!!!!) up, down, up, down, down, down, up, down…..thought the camel was dead.

Crazy human Mom. Oh Holy Mary…what a Mother you are…help me with “peace.” I pray and thank God every night for guidance, healing and for all the wonderful blessings He has given us. We are such a blessed family and I know He is in control, leading us no matter what! I just wish I just wasn’t “human.”

It has been a really great, blessed, but hard, hard summer. By the grace of God, the kids think the entire time “was AWESOME!!!!”

And… now I am better…and I have taken many, many more PICTURES!!! As my Mom always says “Be Patient, God isn’t finished with me yet!”

Houston is diligently moving forward, we just don’t know when. Once again, we have an MRI tomorrow morning at 9 am. Please Pray.

Thank you and I can type again.